Tag Archives: mind-set

Random Sample

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In talking with friends this month of January I notice something’s different. For many of my friends it is important not to be in the position they were in last January.

This is said assertively, without the usual list of resolutions. They are resolute. They will not… then comes the good news – what they will do.

This is good news because when I include myself in this, we all have enough programs, seminars and how-to books. In fact when one of my friends asked another if she had been to a certain seminar and could she be loaned the materials, the one who attended said, “Yes, I’ll dig them out.”

We all have enough knowledge and tips stuffed in our drawers, how do we connect our heart/mind to this pile? How can we make sense of what’s in front of us, behind us, in deep closets?

For me, I wanted to “do” something, that’s why I bought all those books, took the courses, listened scribbling notes in large rooms and strange locations. I want to shift and grow and keep growing. I nosh on help like chips, I don’t feel full so I take more.

Now I’m hearing from those I’m in touch with that we’re in Oz and we all have what we need, we just need a little help to incorporate what we know.

Dorothy: “Now which way do we go?”
Scarecrow: “Pardon me, this is a very nice way>”
Dorothy: “Who said that?”
Scarecrow, pointing the other way: “It’s pleasant down that way, too.”
Dorothy: “That’s funny, wasn’t he pointing the other way?”
Scarecrow, pointing both ways: Of course, some people do go both ways.”

“Wherever you go, there you are.” Jon Kabat-Zinn

Let’s all have a good journey.

Misery Loves Company, Companies Love Misery

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A friend told me that she was helping someone who is lonely because she is lonely, “I am one lonely person helping another lonely person. Lonely people stick together.”

Maybe that’s true. It seemed a contradiction to me. There were two people who consider themselves lonely, they were together, helping one another. I only know how she felt and I know she was feeding and keeping her loneliness close to her. To the outside eye they were friends together helping each other. Would we have been able to tell who was helping whom? Can we ever?

Sometimes even when we have a chance it is hard for us to let go of what we might think of as a defining emotion – “I’m angry, I’m sad.” We name our dogs and our children “joy” but we rarely define ourselves as joyful.

Does happiness feel like a solo occupation when you know that misery loves company? It’s a real question for me, and one for which I don’t have an easy answer. For myself, when I find anger or sadness taking root I do find it hard to remember that my default emotion is joy.

I wonder if my lonely friend does not believe she can feel anything else. Looking around, I see stores filled with solutions for every aggravation. I would never have to find my own solutions if I believe what is on all the labels. It looks like I need to depend on everyone and everything apart from myself.

We’ve created a world of answers, but what are the real questions?

DREAMS

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I saw this sign at Zucotti Park when I visited the encampment a couple of weeks ago. I guess it’s gone now, getting warm with the person who made it, waiting for another time to give the message.

Mayor Bloomberg gave all the protesters a break from the coming winter by moving them. I don’t know if it’s true but it seems to me that the level of protests has risen. I loved the image in Berkely, CA of the tents suspended by helium balloons – yea to the college students for being their creative selves and letting the ideas flow.

It’s my dream that we have this revolution peacefully and we commit to the opportunity to turn this economic disaster into fortune for us all. Taking responsibility for ourselves is a good idea. Having the freedom to make choices is great as long as we have the knowledge and foresight that greatness requires.

To become or follow our dreams requires a discipline of the soul this culture hardly touches upon. We are schooled by multiple choice, hardly having a chance to find our own expression.

At this moment in our history we are less likely to have a discussion with someone who doesn’t agree with us. We can choose what news comes to us, what songs we hear. What we miss is the vast area of unexplored consciousness where we might feel a little out of place, a little foolish, we might not know our way around. We’ve lost touch with the magic of the resilient edge of our resistance.

When you have feelings bottled up do you take yourself out for a walk, a scream, an art? Do you drink a stimulant, a depressant, blame someone? Expression is one of the most important keys to health. Lack of it might be the single most important root of disease.

How can we move forward to our goals and dreams, how can we change what we lovingly call “the system?” What we are fighting now was not created with love, and it was probably done in committee or in cadres. (think banks & investment firms, not Che Guevara)

The only way out is the way in. Each one of us in our own way can shape ourselves for the dream we have. We have only to be like Bloody Mary’s song in South Pacific, “You got to have a dream, if you don’t have a dream, how you gonna have a dream come true?”

COURAGE

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This morning in my meditation I asked for courage. Courage to be who I am – which means I accept myself – to do what I need to do – which means I have a clue – and the willingness to act with love, every act from love.

Notwithstanding my teachers’ groans over my punctuation, I feel set to a high standard. It means that in every moment I am awake to myself, to my dreams and desires as well as my shortcomings.

As unlikely as it is that I will accomplish every goal, it is very certain I will act differently than if I had not entertained these thoughts.

I often feel like a bowl of water I’m carrying. If I go too fast, act with haste, some will spill out – perhaps on you. But if I still myself so I can see my reflection, my path will be free of spills and you will walk with me in peace.

I take wisdom from the world of distinctions. The spider is determined to be a spider, not a lot of choice. While I may not have the choice to change what I am, I have the choice to change who I am. Everyday, every minute I can make a choice, in that choice lies the difference of who I am.

May you have the courage of your conviction, compassion in every step and love in your heart.

The Natural World in a 1953 Corvette

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“It is a scientific fact that the occasional contemplation of natural scenes of an impressive character, particularly if this contemplation occurs in connection with relief from ordinary cares, change of air and change of habits, is favorable to the health and vigor of men and especially to the health and vigor of their intellect beyond any other conditions which can be offered them, that it not only gives pleasure for the time being but increases the subsequent capacity for happiness and the means of securing happiness.” Fredrick Law Olmsted in 1865 – on this day. Thank you to Garrison Keillor and his series, “The Writers’ Almanac.”

When I was growing up in the 50′s (last century!) we thought that today we would be speeding about in magnetic cars – solo – and our food would be in pill form. What we thought the rest of the world would look like never entered my mind. Science was the answer, the Truth and the fiction.
Today the sun is shining where I am, on the list of summer “to do’s” is: 1) hiking, 2) canoeing, 3) rafting, 4) walk with dogs, 5) swim – you get the picture. It’s all meant to be a group of us, none of it “solo.” No mention of pills on the picnic list either.
Sometimes when we plan ahead, we loose sight of what is here, how enduring and important it is. Most of commerce today is based around our human needs of eating, shelter, transport, clothing. The stuff of life is sweet – how we touch each other, the softness of an animal or an old shirt, the turning of a page. Our senses endure, and demand to be fulfilled – more commerce there.
Today I thank all those who take pleasure in what they’re doing, they’re giving back to nature, for nature loves appreciation.
And I do too. The thing I was most excited about in 1953 was the coming of the Corvette! I used to ride through our small town in the mid-west with a guy friend. The local police followed us all over, supposedly to make sure he wasn’t speeding, but I think they just loved it too. The Corvette was a thing of joy and beauty, a modern wonder you could drive anywhere – even to take a hike!

My friend Mark’s was yellow and his mother said he said “motor” before he said “mother.”

Appreciation

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My cat doesn’t have to be told to notice anything.

When she’s being petted the way she likes, she purrs and holds still. When something is happening she doesn’t like or that frightens her, she moves away. She can move away very fast. If she wants to be petted in the middle of the night, she scratches me. If she wants me to roll over, she pushes and scratches me. If she wants to be fed at say four in the morning, she bites my feet.

It’s pretty simple. She knows what she wants and she finds her way to it.

How do you do? My mother made me say that as a greeting to people I met for the first time. The answer was usually a lie. “I’m fine and how are you?” Were they always fine. How do you answer that? And are you really that way? Whatever you said you were?

Don’t give the news that’s fit to print, tell it like you feel it. My cat knows how she feels. How do you feel?

Happy 25th Anniversary, Chernoble

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“The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of
thinking…the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If
only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker.”

Albert Einstein

These beautiful paintings are done by my friend Tilly Strauss

http://www.tillystudio.blogspot.com/

They remind me of what we have and what we lose when the earth is threatened.

As far as the earth goes, I believe it will not be destroyed by our actions. It might be different but it will still be. But it might be just so different and not really hospitable to the life we have become used to living.

It’s up to each one of us to make a difference, then the collective can live up to its name.

Mercy

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We forgive once we give up attachment to our wounds.

Lewis Hyde, The Gift

How do you forgive a gift?

After the storm I walk along the road, scattered

branches from so many winter storms have me hopping.

I look up to the shattered, crudely broken parent branches above my head

I hear,”what a mess,” and my heart

feels the tremble of the lost limbs.

No one put them to it. No one told them to grow.

No one told the wind, the snow to come.

Mercy in the stirring of the flesh, the sap.

The trees’ equanimity, their branches ready to leaf, bear fruit, be.

They don’t look to the end, they see only the next moment

in the light, in the dark, of the earth.

Dog Love

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When my dog Liam comes looking for love, he isn’t expressing need. He’s full of himself and if I’m doing something else he does too. Until he sees a gap, then he enters and asks and I think the sun has come out. That’s Liam.

He doesn’t stress about my lack of communion, he doesn’t feel “less than.” He just waits for another moment. It always comes to him. When he wants play he grabs a toy and growls at me. If he gets nothing from me, he joins me at my feet. No less of a being than he was before.

I marvel at his equanimity. His strength and courage, the faith he has in himself. It isn’t even faith. That’s too thought-out, too human. He’s just who he is and that’s that.

I love to have Liam around me. He’s in balance and keeps me that way.

He’s not small.

Even as a puppy, he was as big as the biggest.

Moon-set at Sunrise

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This morning I woke up to the amazing moon setting. The sky was so blue and I had to think where I was and what was I, what had I been doing. It was almost as if I thought I had been awake while the moon was doing its night thing.

I’m reminded how little my awareness counts. When I first started to meditate I was on a ten day retreat and we were asked to spend an hour doing “bare attention.”

I was so pleased to say how much I had seen, how I had observed this little thing and this other littler thing. I was filled with attention to details all around me.

My teacher was kind, he merely nodded and smiled. Later with a rush of red-faced awareness I realized I hadn’t done what was asked at all. It wasn’t about seeing what was around me that I was to spend my hour. No, not at all. But it would be years before that could wedge its way in to my very full and proud mind.

I was filled with facts and proud of it. Games with random facts were my pride. I could answer any question – bidden or not! No, it was years to my realization that what was inside was the fodder of practice. What was inside was the goal. I couldn’t have appreciated that and I didn’t. Not before I was ready.

I excused myself because I was so concentrated on what was outside. Looking for the right shot, the perfect moment was my only goal. I was like a herding dog with sheep. One thing dominated, it was all I had, my best shot.

I finally forgave myself a few years ago – after years of my hair standing on end every time I thought of that moment with my teacher. I was sure he would remember me for that. I was sure I would have remembered me had I been in his place. Still dominated by fact and memory was I!

It’s a slow process guiding inward. Still noticing, still doing what I do, but noticing intention. Noticing the back side of what I do. I notice that involves a lot of acceptance on my part. For myself. For others. I didn’t drop my bags right away. In a pinch I can still see the value of wit and sharpness as my goals of choice. But gradually I’ve learned to take a bit more time. To breathe before thinking, to think before speaking, and from time to time, to actually let something go.

And that’s when I really start noticing. I really start looking. And I feel I have something to say – if asked.